Fuckkk

I just binged. Oh my God I fucking hate myself. I completely lost control of myself and binged. I'm so ashamed. I can't do anything right and now I'm going to have to pay for it everytime I look into the mirror. I can't even puke it up because my gag reflexes are for shit. I feel so disgusting. I had 3 milano cookies, 27 goldfish, 1 apricot cookie and a cup and a half of buttered noodles. I feel like dying. Ugh, you really don't have any idea. Why can't I just completely avoid food? I want to so bad but it's like my body has a mind of it's own and I can't control it. I need to learn how to control it because right now it feels like I don't have control over anything in my life, absolutely nothing. Ugh I'm gonna go work out and try and burn off some of my mess. I hate myself.